Counting down to calamity

by BN23 Jan 2012

Well, the New Year has kicked off in grand fashion economically. The International Monetary Fund has now said it will need around an additional $500bn in funds to keep Europe from reverting to the Dark Ages and stop the global economy from plummeting like a fat guy in metal pants falling down a mine shaft with a magnetic floor. The $500bn the IMF plans to raise includes $150bn already committed by European countries. That’s great. It only leaves them short by $350bn. Chump change. A quick trip to Cash Converters to pawn some electronics should take care of that. On an even sunnier note, the IMF has warned that a recession worse than the GFC is on the horizon, and Assistant Treasurer Bill Shorten has flagged job losses in Australia as we cop the effects of the Eurozone’s economic implosion. Happy New Year, everyone! Insider doesn’t know about you, but his New Year’s resolution was to buy an abandoned missile silo and start hoarding petrol and ammunition.