Far out Friday: Jokes for mortgage brokers

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1. A man visits his bank manager and says, "How do I start a small business?"

The manager replies, "Start a large one and wait six months."

 

2. A frog walks into a bank and asks the teller, “Who do I talk to about getting a loan?”

The teller shows him to the office of the loan manager, Patricia Black.

"I would like a loan for $20.00 to buy a new lily pad,” the frog tells her.

”Do you have any collateral?” asks Ms. Black.

The frog produces a small statuette of a pink elephant with the inscription “Souvenir of Thailand” engraved on the base.

Unsure whether or not the object is worth the amount of the loan, she summons the bank manager.

The manager inspects the trinket, nods his head, and says, “It’s a knick-knack, Patty Black – give the frog a loan.

 

3. Following the problems in the sub-prime lending market in America and the run on Northern Rock in the UK, uncertainty has now hit Japan.

In the last seven days, Origami Bank has folded, Sumo Bank has gone belly up and Bonsai Bank announced plans to cut some of its branches.

Yesterday, it was announced that Karaoke Bank is up for sale and will likely go for a song.

Today, shares in Kamikaze Bank were suspended after they nose-dived.

Samurai Bank are soldiering on following sharp cutbacks.

Ninja Bank are reported to have taken a hit, but they remain in the black.

Furthermore, 500 staff at Karate Bank got the chop and analysts report that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank where it is feared that staff may get a raw deal.

 

4. A client bought a new home and the broker wanted to send flowers for the occasion.

They arrived at the home and the owner read the card; it said “Rest in Peace”.

The owner was angry and called the florist to complain.

After he told the florist of the obvious mistake and described how angry he was, the florist said, “Sir, I’m really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry you should imagine this: Somewhere there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying, “Congratulations on your new home”.

  • Tony South Coast on 4/01/2013 2:42:19 PM

    How about this one!

    A suited gentlemen was in a bar when a gorgeous woman approaches him, looks him straight in the eye and says:
    "Listen here, good looking. I screw anybody, anytime, anywhere, your place, my place, in the car, on the ground, standing up, sitting down, naked or with clothes on; it doesn't matter to me. I just love it!"

    Eyes now wide with interest, he responds:
    "No kidding, I'm in banking too! What Bank are you with?"

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