Far out Friday: Top 20 lamest sick day excuses ever

by Mackenzie McCarty11 Oct 2013

One of the benefits of being self-employed, as so many brokers are, is that you don’t have to fake a feeble 'pneumonia voice' to your boss on the phone whenever the surf’s up. On the other hand, you don’t have the luxury of getting some other poor sod to do your job when you really do eat some dodgy poultry and come down with a sudden, debilitating bout of chickenpox as a result.

Either way, employers in every industry get their fair share of ‘sick’ day excuses from people who really just want some quality time with their golf clubs and, as a recent study conducted by recruitment website CareerBuilder.com found out, those excuses can sometimes be pretty hilarious.

Below, we’ve compiled some of the more bizarre anecdotes on the list, as well as a few other numbers from various far-flung corners of the internet. All are reportedly real-life scenarios (number five was even used by someone at our own company). If you've got another example to add to the list, make sure and write it in the comment box below:

Top 20 lamest sick day excuses ever:

20. Employee's dog was having a nervous breakdown

19. Employee's dead grandmother was being exhumed for a police investigation

18. Employee was bitten by a bird

17. Employee was upset after watching The Hunger Games

16. Employee got sick from reading too much

15. Employee's hair turned orange from dying her hair at home

14. Employee dropped a tin of baked beans on his toe

13. Employee swam too fast and knocked his head on the poolside

12. Employee’s hamster died

11. Employee was hallucinating

10.Employee’s new girlfriend bit him in a ‘delicate’ place

9. Employee’s toe was trapped in the bathtub tap

8. Employee drank too much and fell asleep on a stranger’s floor: ‘I don’t know where I am’

7. Employee had a sore finger

6. Employee’s trousers split on the way to work

5. Employee electrocuted herself with a hair straightener

4. Employee’s dog ate his shoes

3. Employee's fish wasn't feeling well

2. Employee forgot he had been hired for the job

1. Employees mum had died (second time the employee had used this excuse)







  • by Phil 11/10/2013 10:37:04 AM

    One of my colleagues used a cracker. "My wife's great aunt has fallen off a ladder cleaning the gutter. My wife needs to drive to her house to look after her, which means I have to look after the kid".

  • by Tracey 11/10/2013 12:07:50 PM

    one of my business clients, had an employee constantly taking time off work. Had every excuse under the sun. They got suspicious of this one and had asked for a doctors certificate (which he couldn't supply)
    Driver rings in to say he can't come to work, as his daughter was due to have her baby. Little did the employee know that the daughter had already posted pictures on facebook with the new bub. But here's the crunch, he had taken time off to go and have a tattoo on his arm.....came to work the following day later with his arm bandaged up. The other drivers had asked what had happened & he told them he got a tattoo done yesterday....."on his sick day"
    He then questioned why he was docked a days pay.....go figure!

  • by The Swivel 11/10/2013 2:49:10 PM

    A puppy ran in and stole my shirt of the ironing board, so I ironed another one which got stolen as well, ironed a third shirt and then tripped over the stray puppy and fell down the stairs. from the same employee "I can't come into because my mate is sick and I'm going to fill in for him" fitting fire extinguishers!